Home Self Improvement Confidence Building 101: 15 Ways To Appear Confident (When You’re Really Not)

Confidence Building 101: 15 Ways To Appear Confident (When You’re Really Not)

by Ambriel

They say first impressions are everything. When you first meet someone, do you want them to think that you’re confident, or do you want them to think that you’re insecure?

If you want people to think of you in a positive way, then you need to present yourself in a positive way, even if you don’t necessarily feel it on the inside.

Everyone has moments where they feel anxious, worried, and uneasy. And, yes, confident people have their anxious moments, too. But, they know how to handle those moments and use their anxious energy to their advantage.

You don’t have to be attractive, have a slim body, or have a lot of money to be confident. You just have to “fake it ‘til you make it”, and eventually you’ll become confident without even thinking about it.

If you truly want to turn your life around, start by practicing these 20 tips to help build your confidence.

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1- Don’t worry about what other people think of you

When you introduce yourself to someone new, do you ever wonder about what they think of you? “Do they think I’m stupid?” “Does he think I’m fat? “

It’s completely normal to contemplate how the other person feels about you, but it can be detrimental to your confidence and self-esteem.

You’re going to cross paths with a ton of people in your life; some of them will like and some of them won’t like you. And you have to accept that, and stop worrying about what people think about you. Their opinion is useless. The only thing that truly matters is how you feel about yourself.

If you view yourself in a negative light, then it will show in the way how you carry yourself, and other people will notice that. If you view yourself in a positive light, it’ll show on the outside, and people will naturally think highly of you because you think highly of you! Stop worrying about what people think of you and focus on being the best person you can be every day.

Want more insight on how you can stop caring about what people think? If so, read this book:  You Do You: How To Be You Are And Use What You’ve Got To Get What You Want by Sarah Knight. This book is the ultimate guide to stop caring about what others think. I like how there are so many actionable steps you can take and apply to your life immediately! Check it out on Amazon here.

2- Stop Fidgeting

I absolutely hated my public speaking class in college. I would get so nervous when it was my turn to go up to the front of the class and speak. My anxiety would get the best of me, and I would fidget so much while standing behind the podium. It was humiliating, to say the least.

Constantly moving your hands, swaying back and forth, and other awkward movements are telltale signs of nervousness. Fidgeting will catch people’s attention and make them focus on you more, but not in a good way. So, how can you stop fidgeting when you become nervous? First, try to keep your hands calm and still. Hold a book or a transcript of your speech in your hands to keep them occupied. Next, focus on your posture and keep your head up. We will focus more on posture in the next step.

3- Adjust Your Posture

Nothing screams low confidence louder than bad posture. Head hanging down, standing hunched over, and putting your hands in your pocket are all signs of bad posture and will make you look leery and closed off. Good posture will make you look attentive and attractive. Adjusting your posture comes in a multitude of steps, which we will discuss step by step later in the post.

4- Pay Attention To Your Face

Ladies, I know you have all heard of the “resting bitch face” (RBF). If you don’t know what the RBF is, it’s basically when a woman’s resting face naturally looks irritated or mean. But it’s completely unintentional; the woman probably isn’t mean at all. It’s just the way her face looks when she’s….. doing nothing. Either way, people are quick to misinterpret a woman’s resting face as her looking mean or unapproachable, and that can turn some people. Whenever you meet someone new, try to flash a slight grin every now and then to show the other person that you’re interested in what they’re saying. Try your best to look inviting and approachable.

5- Stand Up Straight

Your body language speaks volumes. If you want to project confidence, then it must show through your body language. The number one rule to projecting confidence through your body is to stand up straight. It may be hard to break the habit of slouching, especially if you slouch all the time, but you have to take the initiative to break that habit. When you stand up straight, you show others that you’re proud of yourself without saying a word.

6- Push Your Shoulders Back

In addition to standing up straight, pushing your shoulders can improve your body posture as well.

7- Keep Your Head Up

Hold your head up high wherever you go. Not only does holding your head up show confidence, but it also shows that you’re focused on the person you’re communicating with or the project you’re presenting. Practice walking with your head up at all times. When you’re walking through the halls at school or at work, keep your head up and eyes forward. You’ll instantly look more confident and powerful!

8- Eliminate Negative Self-talk

I’m so fat! I can’t do anything right! No one will ever want to be with someone like me!  Negative self-talk is toxic, but we’ve all done it at some point. When you call yourself names and tell yourself that you can’t do anything, you completely destroy your confidence and self-esteem. So instead of saying negative things to yourself, replace negative words with positive words.

Things to STOP saying:

  • “I can’t do this”
  • “I’ll never lose weight”
  • “I’m so ugly”

Things to START saying:

  • “I can do this”
  • “I will lose weight”
  • “I’m beautiful on the inside and outside”


9- Speak Positive Affirmations

Reciting positive affirmations to yourself everyday is the key to build your confidence and your endurance. Just stand in front of the mirror and give yourself a small pep talk before you head out When I need a positive thinking boost, I read this book: A Year of Positive Thinking: Daily Inspiration, Wisdom, and Courage by Cyndie Spiegel. It’s an amazing book and I highly recommend it! You can find a free sample of if here on Amazon.

10- Put Effort Into Your Appearance

So many people say looks don’t matter, but in certain situations, looks DO matter. Your outer appearance is the first thing people will see before they talk to you. Take the time to put some effort into your appearance. Dealing with acne? Go to the dermatologist. Go to the nail salon and hair salon to pamper yourself. When you do more, you’ll feel better about yourself. When other people see you looking good, they will compliment you more, which will make you even more confident.

11-  Wear Clothes That Fit Your Body

There are some pieces of clothing that look nice on the mannequin, but don’t look good on me when I try it on. That’s all because that article of clothing doesn’t work well with my body type. If you want to look your best, you have to find clothes that fit well. Wear clothes that accentuate your body the best, and you’ll start to feel more confident with your appearance.

12-  Let Your Guard Down

I’m an introvert, so I’m naturally a “closed-off” person. But, I know that in order to leave a good impression on people, I have to open up a little. Being vulnerable can be hard at times, but opening up a little can draw people closer to you.

13-  Whiten Your Teeth

Your smile is your best feature! Make your smile as bright and as white as possible by going to the dentist regularly. You can also find some whitening strips from your local drugstore to whiten your teeth at home.

14-  Smell Good

Good hygiene is always a must. Find a nice perfume or cologne and wear it often. Just don’t go overboard with the spraying.

15- Be Kind To Others

We already live in a mean world; why be mean to one another? Being nice to others will always make you look more confident and attractive. Be polite to others. But, make sure you know how to stand your ground and don’t allow others to all over you.


It’s 2020. It’s time to stop thinking lowly of yourself and start being confident! I hope these tips help on your journey to becoming more confident. If you have more ideas that you would like to share, tell me about them in the comment section below.

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